SOU and Days of Grace #3

Here's the deal: if the professor for the education class that I was hoping to get into doesn't email me back soon (I wrote to him on Monday!) then I may take a martial arts PE class instead. Basically just because 1) this ed. class is the only one my advisor advised me to take instead of spanish, 2) I don't know what other class I can take instead because every other class I need is "upper division" and I'll be finishing up my "lower division" classes this term, 3) I would actually like to take one class just for fun, and 4) I've been wanting to start working out anyway, and a beginning martial arts/self-defense class would be a good way to make me do that. I actually LOVE to take the swimming PE class, but it's only offered when during the only time my astronomy class is offered. Maybe next year I'll take it.

Anyway. So I've been thinking a lot today. The past couple of weeks, actually. One thing we talk about in SOMA (it's a Bible study on campus) each week is our role as Christians on campus and reaching out to those on campus who aren't saved and just need some hope and truth in the midst of a dark school. What I've been really thinking about this week is how I want to do that--to reach out to others, to point them to Christ--but how I often I fail at that. Time to get honest and personal...basically, I am a fearful person. I inwardly fear what others think of me, worrying that I'll say or do the wrong thing. It frankly is something that holds me back, and I know it, but I don't know how to change it. It's not like I can simply say to myself, "self, stop worrying about what others will think. just do it. just say what you're thinking. raise your hand in class, participate in the prayer at Bible study, stop your heart from pounding and your hands from sweating." (well, I can say that to myself, I do in fact, but it doesn't help much.) It's something I've been praying about lately, because I realize that there's no way I can overcome any of it on my own.

Anyway, I didn't mean for this to be all about me--what I meant to say is that I've been feeling a bit disheartened this week because of the lack of hope--the lack of God--at SOU. There is one person in particular who has been in my mind over the last couple of weeks, ever since I overheard a conversation in which one person said her parents were worried that SOU was "turning her wiccan", and the other person responded with, "well, this school has turned me atheist!" I know that people make their own decisions, but I also believe that the school can have a strong influence on students. Hearing that person say that he considered the school responsible for his believing God doesn't exist...wow. I don't even know what to say.

So, I am praying that God will do both a work in me--taking away my hesitations and doubts, and replacing them with strength and courage--and in my school. I know that there are some positive things going on at SOU (various Bible studies that are encouraging the believers, discussions about God [in classes and in the newspaper...I just read an article today. it was actually pretty full of "we are all just looking for happiness, it doesn't matter what you believe", but at least it was a discussion and asking for opinions. i thought about writing in. i still may, if i can find the paper again because i didn't keep it] and such).

I just pray that God will do a work in the school, in the students, and in the people of Ashland. If you think about it this week, maybe you can pray also.

So I don't have to post another entry, here are the 5 things I'm thankful for today:
1. God's love, mercy, and strength.
2. Chocolate cake with cream cheese frosting.
3. Mornings that are warm enough that my the windshield of my car is not frozen.
4. Exams that are super easy.
5. Wind.