3 Weeks

I'm three weeks into the school year. Yeah! It has been an exhausting past three weeks but things are starting to feel like they're falling into place. My kids are getting more used to being in school all day and only having one recess break, although we have take frequent stretching and singing breaks throughout the day. 

Really, in what other profession do you get to sing Head, Shoulders, Knees, and Toes every hour, sometimes multiple times an hour? Or do you find yourself saying things like, "I like the way Rachel is criss-cross-apple-sauce and has a bubble in her mouth!" Sometimes they say the funniest things too--this year one boy nearly made me burst out laughing when he told me during writing (with a completely serious, concerned face) "Teacher, I wrote 'poop'. But I didn't mean to. I was trying to write something else, but it came out 'poop'!" Today he asked me if I was 90 years old :)

Another child who ended the day on the orange part of my behavior system (orange means he's had poor behavior and needs to make better choices) told me, "Well that's ok because orange is my favorite color. And so is red. And yellow. And green. And blue! Every year I get a new favorite color. It changes every year." I asked what his favorite color will be when he is 12 years old, and he informed be that it will be silver. Good to know.

I'm starting to settle into the routine of working long hours too. On a typical day I am at work by 7:15 am and don't get home until around 7:00 pm. There are always things to do after school--various meetings and trainings and parent phone calls--and then I spend time planning with my first grade team and finally preparing for the next day. I love my partner teachers--they are fun gals and excellent team mates. We collaborate and share everything. They're such a blessing! Now that routines are starting to fall into place, my students are building stamina in Daily Five (13 minutes of Read to Self today, up from 8 yesterday! So excited!), and we just got our Go Math curriculum that 1st grade is piloting this year, I'm hopeful that I will be able to get things done quicker and get home much earlier. First grade takes a lot of prep!

I also found out this week that the vast majority of my students are "red" kids for reading, meaning they are high-risk and below grade level.  Many also come from difficult home situations. It's a daunting task helping each and every one grow, succeed, and also feel loved and cared for, especially in a profession that is so demanding in a variety of ways.  There are times when I feel like I can't take much more--my work load is heavy, my kids' needs are great, I'm sick, circumstances beyond my control frustrate me...still, my prayer is that God will work through me, empowering me to reach these kids He has entrusted to me for these nine months. I want to make a difference in every single one of their little lives.

Who I Am

The last two weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. I have spent over 50 hours sitting in various trainings in preparation for the start of a new school year.  I've learned how to use model drawings to solve word problems, discovered how to use color coding to teach the writing process to even the youngest students, and reviewed (and reviewed and reviewed) effective teaching strategies.  I've met around 50 new K-12 teachers.  I've unloaded over 24 boxes and organized the contents in a new classroom.

In the midst of it all, it's so easy to forget who I am.

This past year I have repeatedly allowed my situations, my relationships, my issues, and especially my job title define me.  The problem is, I'm inevitably left feeling stressed and discouraged.

A lot of times I bring it upon myself.  I get too caught up in my job performance or my goals or my relationships and feel distressed when anything in those areas isn't perfect (which it never is).  Other times, however, I let outside things tell me who I am; just this week I was told at a new teacher training, "You are only as good as your most difficult student, your most difficult parent, your most difficult challenge." 

The truth is, I am NOT only as good as my most difficult student--or even my most successful student--because those things don't define me.  In fact, I am actually a sinner, a failure, a weak girl who has been redeemed, forgiven, and strengthened by Christ; my identity is now found in Him. As Tullian Tchividjian says in his book Jesus + Nothing = Everything, "Your identity is firmly anchored in Christ's accomplishment, not yours; his strength, not yours; his performance, not yours; his victory, not yours. Your identity is steadfastly established in his substitution, not in your sin" (pp. 132-133). Also, says Tchividjian,

     because Jesus was strong for me, I was free to be weak;

     because Jesus won for me, I was free to lose;

     because Jesus was someone, I was free to be no one;

     because Jesus was extraordinary, I was free to be ordinary;

     because Jesus succeeded for me, I was free to fail. (p. 24)

I love that.  I am free to be ordinary, weak, even a failure because of what Christ has done.  It's not about what I can do on my own in this life, it's about Christ's extravagant love and grace and what he has accomplished.  

Louie Giglio recently did a series about identity at Passion City Church (I love listening to the podcast.)  For 30 days, that church sent out an email with a Bible verse that proclaims who we are in Christ. At the top of every email it said,

Good Morning... just wanted to remind you who you are in Christ:

God-designed, purpose-intended, significant, lavishly-loved, prince/princess, son/daughter of the King of the Universe.

That is who I am. My identity is in Christ. My prayer is that I would continue to believe that this year, and that you will, too, even as a million other things try to define us.

Goodbye Summer, Hello Reality

Ahh, summer is already coming to an end! It seems like it just started...yet somehow it's already time for me to go back to reality. But I've missed people, teaching, seeing the ocean every day, my comfy bed, and even just having a schedule and routine, so I'm looking forward to returning to life at my little house at the coast.  (I'm also slightly terrified about this year...but trusting that God will see me through!)

This summer has been such of a blessing! I have done so many fun things: I went on a cruise with my sister and 2 of my nieces (and learned how to dance to Thriller--jealous?), got back into kickboxing classes (I LOVE them!), went rafting, attended a wedding, spent many, many hours visiting with friends, watched the Olympics, read books (for fun! not just teaching related!), planned how I want to decorate my classroom, stayed up late and slept in, went to noon worship at church (I really miss it when I'm not here!), and completed two online classes for grad school (ok, this last one was not exactly fun).  

It really has been a great summer.  In addition to all the fun things I've gotten to do, God has used various people, teachings, and books to remind me how amazingly great His love and grace are for me.  I'd like to blog about that soon, as I feel like I just have to share some of these things I've been learning that have been truly changing my outlook on life and my views of myself.  He is so good!

So, goodbye summer (and all those I love in Southern Oregon! I'll miss you!) and hello to another year of teaching and adventures!